Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The "What Ifs" of my transition

So as time is approaching, I find myself so nervous and stressed about the transition. Questions are flooding my mind. What if I'm not a good stay at home mom? what if my kids get dumber because of me? what if I cant teach them right? what if what if...
See when my son was born I was back to work less then 2 months after, not because I wanted to, but because my job needed me and I have a really hard time saying no (I'm working on that), since then I have only been with them full time either on vacation, weekends or if they were sick, so somehow in my mind I have never been a full time mommy, however I wont deny my mind is always on them 24/7.
So I know there will be an adaptation period for both me and the kids, but my nerves are getting the best of me. I have physical "stress" signs and I am trying to work myself through it.
I am so excited to be with my babes, I have been working on activities and gathering ideas for outings to museum, parks and library story time, but I am afraid that somehow I am fantasizing too much about being a stay at home mom; will I even have time to do everything? what if I fail them?
I guess as long as I do it with love and give them my all I will not fail them. (Now I just have to get my head around that).

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